I have lived alone for a long time (like a solid decade). I decided to get a roommate a few months ago and things are mostly good. What is making me feel very irritated is that my roomie can’t seem to put things back where they are supposed to go, especially in the kitchen. It really messes with my flow and makes me feel unhinged. I want to address it but what can I do? Should I label the cabinets? Should I make a map? I would think they would have figured it out by now.
— Sincerely,
Orderly
Dear Orderly:
New living arrangements with someone you aren’t used to sharing space with always come with a period of adjustment. You describe feeling “unhinged” because your new roomie hasn’t figured out the lay of the land. First, take a deep breath, Orderly. You’ve had a decade to get used to where you keep things. Your roomie has had a few months to try and memorize how you like things, which is undoubtedly different from where they would naturally keep things. I don’t think labeling the cabinets or making a map is truly helpful, unless that is a mutual decision. Instead, it may come across as petty and passive aggressive. Here’s what I suggest to you: make some decisions together. Your roomie lives there, too, so maybe it’s time you two spend an afternoon deciding the best place for items in the kitchen. Shared items and individual items plotted out in specific areas would be a great way to solve this problem. Most people aren’t mind readers and very few have photographic memories, so instead of jumping to irritation, keep in mind that not everyone thinks the same way, has the same type of memory, and that people usually have good intentions. It will take some compromise living with another person. Don’t start out holding a grudge because someone can’t read your mind on where the can opener is supposed to go. Best wishes!
